Confidence Leadership

Dear Fear, SU.

“It’s not strategy or content at this point. It’s all mindset.”


That’s what I said inside when my friend stated the obvious truth, that was so obvious I missed it completely. Again. 

I mean, really. How long do we have to deal with this mindset $#*t, really?! 

Umm, until fear stops kicking my butt. Until every limiting belief, hindering hurt and mindset and deep space of doubt has been fully invaded by Holy Spirit and I am living in freedom and faith. 

So basically, not for a while. Maybe never. 

Her next word of wisdom, “You have to be ok with and accepting of the process.” 

More curse words under my breath. 

I wasn’t frustrated with her. Only with myself, that once again I have convinced myself something else was holding me back and interfering with my success. 

I mean, I’ve said this in my own coaching calls: Fear is the master of disguise. And it’s true. 

Fear can show up as…

  • Not enough money or resources
  • No support
  • Confused about what to do next
  • My strategy isn’t working and needs to be changed
  • I’m not growing fast enough so I need to change something
  • My husband’s negative energy
  • My kids need me
  • No time, energy or capacity
  • Self-doubt
  • Pain, illness, ailments

So, basically, every excuse we can think of is actually that pain-in-the-ass Fear doing his best to keep us from breaking through. And to keep us from seeing where we have actually ALREADY BROKEN THROUGH. 

It’s true. The more we focus on the fear-founded excuses, the less we recognize, appreciate and celebrate how far we’ve come! 

Right now, Andra Day is singing in my ear…and I’ll rise up, rise like the day, I’ll rise up, in spite of the ache. I’ll rise up…and I’ll do it a thousand times again. 

Thank you Andra. I needed to hear that! 

I will get up again. I will push past the fear again. I will turn the camera on one more time. I’ll open a new Google doc every damn day. I will play the meditation, call my coach, and show up for my tribe no matter how I feel. 

I will rise up…and I’ll do it a thousand times. 

And you will, too, friend. 

You will show up one more time for your family. You will write one more chapter. You will record one more podcast and share one more post. You will do your affirmations one more time. And you will arrive on time knowing you kept going in spite of the ache…and doubt…and fear. 

What I’m learning right now, is that for me, (this may be different for you) 

the best way to shut fear up is to do that next thing. 

Will I need to process fear? Probably.

Do I need to feel my feelings and face my doubts? I’m sure. 

But I refuse to let Fear determine what I choose to do today. I’m not going check with him, or ask permission… “Um, excuse me Mr. Fear…would it be ok if I did another Facebook live this week? Oh, no? That would be too risky and make me too vulnerable? Oh, ok. Thanks for the input.” 



This is exactly what some of are doing. To be honest, it’s what I’ve done too many times to count. I’ve let fear convince me that I don’t actually have anything relevant or helpful or memorable to contribute.

But the truth is, I do. And so do you. 

IF we haven’t done everything we dreamed of doing…then we aren’t done. And we are relevant and needed and valuable. 

My playlist is now playing Testimony by Elevation Worship: If we’re not dead…then we’re not done. 

I’m not done. And neither are you. 

Photo by James Coleman on Unsplash

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